Never in a million years would I have thought that my life would have turned out this way. This is not what I had planned at all. It seems like just the other day I was teaching full time, enjoying a social life, being physically active, and relishing in the hobbies that I loved. Yet, here I am now, battling several chronic illnesses, spending the majority of my day in bed, isolated from most environments and people, all while trying my best to manage my deteriorating health. Although I have found myself in such an unexpected place in life, I would like to share with you how a random moment last September has continued to help me face these daily struggles.
I had taken my dog Ranger outside to do his business. We walked down the sidewalk while he searched for the perfect spot to do his little doggie deed. We had not gone very far when I looked down and noticed a splash of color. I stopped in my tracks and stared in awe.
Right there, growing in a crack between the asphalt of the road and the curb of the sidewalk was a small bushel of tiny purple flowers. Some might call them weeds, but to me, they were so much more. They were vibrant, bright and cheerful, growing beautifully among the drab manmade surfaces, just trying their very best to be beautiful in such an unlikely place. I am sure if, given the choice, those little flowers would have never chosen that particular spot to grow. But, life’s circumstances had brought them to this place and they were clearly making the most out of it. In that unlikely, unexpected spot, they grew with such strength, vibrancy, and beauty.
Tears weld up in my eyes and slowly slid down my cheeks. I saw my journey, in those little purple flowers. My life had taken such an unexpected turn. It has been excruciatingly painful losing so much of myself because of my failing health. But somehow, looking at those little flowers, I was reminded that I still have the choice of how I want to grow through life. I cannot control what has happened to me. This path is certainly not easy to deal with day after day, and if I am being honest, it probably never will be. But, that doesn’t mean that there cannot be beauty in the journey. I realize that I have to be the one to decide to make the most of the circumstances that I have been given, to find joy in the little things, to learn, and to grow from these hardships. I have to be the one to choose to be strong and vibrant, to be beautiful in an unlikely place.
Life is tough. And I know that I am not alone in having unexpected difficulties. We all have burdens, whether it is a death of a loved one, trauma, illness, painful relationships, financial struggles, or any other life-changing adversity. When you find yourself somewhere in life that you never thought you would be, I hope that you think of these little purple flowers and remember that you have the choice of how you want to grow through life. You too can choose to be beautiful in a unlikely place.
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Laura Heyd's Medical Journey 